Do you know why the sky rains?
Strange, isn't it? No one has been able to explain the meaning of rain for the entire eternity that humans are alive. Over the years, by and by, all we know about the rain are the scientific ways they form and such, but really, is this the meaning that rain bring about?
I doubt so.
November has already started.
Autumn, has arrived.
Today, I viewed the sky differently.
As I watch the rain drops fall, I suddenly felt a tinge of sadness. The day before, I had allowed myself to be drenched, the cold droplets rolling down my warm skin and falling onto the ground once more.
I feared that feeling.
The coldness. The emptiness.
As I looked out at the sky, I asked myself, what do the sky remind me of now.
The answer that I got was: I want to escape from this sadness.
I saw no reason for this feeling, yet, against all odds, the impression that was left on me was no more than the sky crying.
Crying.
Though I ever so wanted to do that, the will within me forbids it. It's painful, to keep everything bottled up, yet if I ever let any out, the only thing that will happen, will be me bringing problems to my own self.
I do not want anyone to pity me. Neither do I want to pain those around me.
Ironic, isn't it? We humans whine each day, almost at the fact of every single thing, yet here I am, saying that I do not need anyone's pity.
I hate myself. So much more than anything else.
Why, of all things, am I so weak?
Why, of all things, I am such a coward to face others?
I ain't even fit to be called a friend.
Neither do I want others to call me a friend.
In those eyes that call themselves my friend, I see no feeling of kindness, no feeling of friendship.
All I see, is the feeling of impatience, ignorance and unfeeling.
If that is the case, why do you still give me a place in your heart? If there is no need for me to even exist, why don't you just wipe me out from your heart?
All I ever want from anyone who doesn't give a damn about me, is to forget me completely.
But even if you don't do that, there's nothing I do, can I? But there is after all. And that is for me to wipe you out from my heart completely.
Yes. To wipe out all memories entirely.
I'm sorry to say this but, to the one who has been with me for the past 12 years, I want to erase you off from my memory entirely. Whenever I see you, you only remind me of me back in the past. You remind me that the two of us exists in two different worlds which will never meet at all. Just like the north and south pole.
When I look at you, I feel like slapping myself awake.
Yet, I am never able to awake. Because I was never asleep in the first place.
Forgive me... And with my disappearence twenty days later, I wish you all the best.
Acheive what I failed to preserve...
I doubt so.
November has already started.
Autumn, has arrived.
Today, I viewed the sky differently.
As I watch the rain drops fall, I suddenly felt a tinge of sadness. The day before, I had allowed myself to be drenched, the cold droplets rolling down my warm skin and falling onto the ground once more.
I feared that feeling.
The coldness. The emptiness.
As I looked out at the sky, I asked myself, what do the sky remind me of now.
The answer that I got was: I want to escape from this sadness.
I saw no reason for this feeling, yet, against all odds, the impression that was left on me was no more than the sky crying.
Crying.
Though I ever so wanted to do that, the will within me forbids it. It's painful, to keep everything bottled up, yet if I ever let any out, the only thing that will happen, will be me bringing problems to my own self.
I do not want anyone to pity me. Neither do I want to pain those around me.
Ironic, isn't it? We humans whine each day, almost at the fact of every single thing, yet here I am, saying that I do not need anyone's pity.
I hate myself. So much more than anything else.
Why, of all things, am I so weak?
Why, of all things, I am such a coward to face others?
I ain't even fit to be called a friend.
Neither do I want others to call me a friend.
In those eyes that call themselves my friend, I see no feeling of kindness, no feeling of friendship.
All I see, is the feeling of impatience, ignorance and unfeeling.
If that is the case, why do you still give me a place in your heart? If there is no need for me to even exist, why don't you just wipe me out from your heart?
All I ever want from anyone who doesn't give a damn about me, is to forget me completely.
But even if you don't do that, there's nothing I do, can I? But there is after all. And that is for me to wipe you out from my heart completely.
Yes. To wipe out all memories entirely.
I'm sorry to say this but, to the one who has been with me for the past 12 years, I want to erase you off from my memory entirely. Whenever I see you, you only remind me of me back in the past. You remind me that the two of us exists in two different worlds which will never meet at all. Just like the north and south pole.
When I look at you, I feel like slapping myself awake.
Yet, I am never able to awake. Because I was never asleep in the first place.
Forgive me... And with my disappearence twenty days later, I wish you all the best.
Acheive what I failed to preserve...
posted by Aphelia Yuu at 9:30 PM
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